Apparently Gene Haas’ Formula One team announced its second driver Friday night but I don’t know who.

I even made this nifty Twitter poll to see if anyone could tell me, but my efforts proved futile.


Everyone said it was really obvious but I just can’t find who. Is it Conor Daly? Is it Parker Kligerman? Is it Paul Morris? Is it Ryan Reed? Is it Jack Goff? Is it Mike Wallace? Is it Kenny Wallace? Is it Rusty Wallace? Is it Steven Wallace? Is it Fred Smith? Is it Dugal McDougal? Is it Mike Massaro? Is it Mikhail Aleshin? Is it Michael Ammermueller? Is it Mike Conway? Is it the other Mike Conway? Is it Henry Karjalainen? Is it David Cage? Is it Wayne Gardner? Is it Vin Diesel? Is it Brian Keselowski? Please be Vin Diesel. Is it Mike Bliss? Really please be Vin Diesel. Is it Ho-Pin Tung? Ho-Pin Tung is cool but he’s not Vin Diesel. Is it Vin Diesel?

Wait, I found out who it is.

The second Haas F1 driver is you. It is me. It is all of us.

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